Jiang Yishan’s nose bled more as he talked. He didn’t understand what had happened. He was coughing so hard that he couldn’t stand up. He felt dizzy, so he lowered his head as he wiped his nose, but doing so made him smear the blood everywhere.
Qin Shaocheng stepped forward and picked up Jiang Yishan.
Jiang Yishan’s brain couldn’t keep up with what was happening until Qin Shaocheng put him on the bed and stuffed him into the quilt. When Qin Shaocheng was about to leave, he hurriedly grabbed his clothes and cried, “Don’t go, Shaocheng… Don’t go…”
“Let go first.”
“Don’t go. Don’t leave me…” Jiang Yishan’s voice broke as he held Qin Shaocheng to death. He cried and begged, “I know I was wrong. I know you’re disappointed with me. Don’t go, will you?”
Qin Shaocheng was distressed to see him like this. “I’m going to get a towel.”
Jiang Yishan laid in bed and could not hear anything. He was exhausted, and his body hurt everywhere. He held Qin Shaocheng’s hand and cried, begging him not to go before falling asleep.
With the fever, confusion, mental strain, and how tired Jiang Yishan felt, his body could no longer take it.
While half asleep and half awake, he recalled the years from when he was only eighteen until he was twenty-four. He thought of his youth and success, of his short-lived fame, and of him, who is now no more but a lost dog.
He wondered what he would do if he were to live his life all over again.
When Jiang Yishan woke up, he felt that everything that had happened was merely a dream. He looked out the window and saw the sun shining, and at this moment, it felt like he was separated from the rest of the world.
There was no one in the room. He laid in bed for a while and didn’t hear Qin Shaocheng’s voice. The whole room was so eerily quiet it made him terrified. He was eager to get up from bed, but he didn’t have any strength to lift himself up.
The consequences of taking a cold shower last night were soon revealed. His body ached in different places and his headaches came in bursts. It took him half a day to get out of bed.
There was no one in the house.
He dragged his feeble legs to the study, pushed open the door and saw only a few books on the bookshelf and a desk that was soon gathering dust. He finally believed that Qin Shaocheng was going to leave. He had already prepared in advance.
The key to the door lock wasn’t changed because it didn’t matter. It had been four years, and no one would wait for that long.
Qin Shaocheng had really given up on him.
Jiang Yishan went to the chair in the study and sat down, hunched over. The glare of the sun made him dark and desperate.
He thought of the Qin Shaocheng of the past, who used to be so gentle, then he thought of the present Qin Shaocheng, who was now indifferent. After the seventh day of the month, Jiang Yishan would no longer have Qin Shaocheng, who both loved and hated him, by his side.
He had lost him.
Jiang Yishan finally understood the bittersweetness and emptiness of waking up from Nanke’s dream1An idiom for illusory joy. More Information can be found here. Jiang Yishan’s heart felt so heavy that he couldn’t breathe. He covered his eyes, but he couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t want to be useless, but he was so sad. At least, there was no one else in the room; no one would be disgusted by his tears.
And so, he cried and cried.
“What are you doing?”
Jiang Yishan turned his head in disbelief.
Qin Shaocheng stood at the door of his study, wearing an overcoat and holding a newly bought medicine in his hand.
Jiang Yishan had been crying so hard that he couldn’t hold back his tears. “Didn’t you leave? I thought you had changed the date of your flight…”
Qin Shaocheng said coldly, “It’s bad luck to change the date during the Chinese New Year.”
Jiang Yishan narrowed his eyes.
Qin Shaocheng hung his overcoat on the hanger and said, “Come out for dinner and take some medicine afterwards.”
Jiang Yishan didn’t fight again this time. He followed Qin Shaocheng, and after breakfast he took the medicine obediently. Throughout the whole process, his head hung low and his eyes were red and swollen. After that, Qin Shaocheng told him to go lie down on the bed.
Qin Shaocheng opened his cell phone and looked at the time. “If the fever does not subside by afternoon, I will take you to the hospital.”
Jiang Yishan covered himself with the quilt and nodded silently.
Considering Jiang Yishan’s current situation, Qin Shaocheng thought for a moment then asked, “Do you know a doctor?”
Jiang Yishan replied, “I have Dr. Liu’s number in my phone.”
Qin Shaocheng went to the living room and found a dead cell phone in the crack of the sofa. He went back to his bedroom and charged it. As it turned on, it asked for a password. Qin Shaocheng subconsciously inputted his birthday. The mobile phone was unlocked.
Qin Shaocheng looked at Jiang Yishan, who had fallen asleep under the effect of the medicine. His face was indeed a little pitiful. He had tears on his eyelashes and some unwiped blood on his nose.
Qin Shaocheng put his mobile phone on silent then walked out of the bedroom.
Having exhausted all his strength, Jiang Yishan laid in bed all morning. At noon, Qin Shaocheng went into the room to touch his forehead. It wasn’t as hot as it was earlier, so he woke him up to eat.
Jiang Yishan woke up a little confused and he sat on the bed absentmindedly.
Qin Shaocheng frowned. “Hurry up and get dressed.”
Jiang Yishan changed into clean clothes. The clothes were all Qin Shaocheng’s. The clothes were too big on him, and the sleeves of the sweater were too long. He raised his head and thought of asking Qin Shaocheng to help him roll up his sleeves, but he gave up on that and instead rolled them up himself.
Before eating, Qin Shaocheng handed him a cup of water. “Drink water first.”
Jiang Yishan drank it. Then, he ate the chicken porridge in front of him without saying a word. He just had a fever, so everything he ate was tasteless. He used to be so coquettish that Qin Shaocheng had to coax him to eat. Now, he couldn’t dare to it.
After lunch, he sat on the sofa, looking like a delicate, silent doll, bowing his head and playing with a thermometer. The air conditioning and heating in the living room were good, but after a while, Jiang Yishan felt hot and sweaty. After washing the dishes and chopsticks, Qin Shaocheng saw him wipe the sweat on his neck, so he asked him to take his medicine and go back to bed.
Qin Shaocheng knew that Jiang Yishan hated the heat. He thought that Jiang Yishan would make trouble again. However, he did not expect that the other party would obey him easily. Qin Shaocheng was relieved.
Qin Shaocheng took Jiang Yishan’s temperature again after dinner. It had went down, so Jiang Yishan should be able to sleep well.
In the evening, Qin Shaocheng laid on the sofa in the living room and looked at his mobile phone.
Jiang Yishan, who had taken medicine, came up to him in his pajamas and asked, “Can we talk about it?”
Qin Shaocheng did not look at him. “Tomorrow.”
“I’ve thought about what you said this morning, and I’ve figured it all out. You were right and I was wrong.” Jiang Yishan bowed his head. “You don’t even want to see me again.”
Qin Shaocheng did not answer.
Jiang Yishan bit his lip. “But… would you be okay in being sex friends?”
Unlike last night, when it was dark, the chandelier in the living room was overhead today, illuminating everything clearly. Jiang Yishan blushed as if he still had a fever and stuttered. “Just for the next few days. It will all be over after the seventh.”
Qin Shaocheng was incredulous. “Did you burn your brain?”
“I just want to spend the year with you.”
Qin Shaocheng refused directly. “You are leaving tomorrow.”
Jiang Yishan dared not say any nonsense that he wouldn’t go. He was afraid that Qin Shaocheng would make him leave right then if he got angry. Yet, he boldly climbed onto the sofa and said, “How do you want to do it? I can learn it for you.”
“Can’t you understand me!?”
Jiang Yishan took off his pajamas in front of him. He didn’t feel that cold with the heating on, but it was still a bit cold. Without saying any more, he hugged him, and sat down on Qin Shaocheng with his legs apart.
Qin Shaocheng was annoyed when he thought about last night’s incident. “Get off me!”
“I mean it.” Jiang Yishan looked at Qin Shaocheng. “You can do whatever you want.”
Qin Shaocheng breathed for a moment. At this moment, Jiang Yi Shan was very like their first meeting. His eyes were clear. The memory overlapping, Qin Shaocheng inevitably trembled.
“I think I’m the only one you like.” Jiang Yishan led Qin Shaocheng’s hands towards his body. “I am still suffering from a low fever… It’s very hot inside… Would you like to try?”